In the Matrimonial Sense !!!!
I was discussing with a friend, the problems of getting myself arranged, not in the material sense but in the matrimonial sense. People around me, are discussing matrimony a lot frequently these days -
"Hey !! I am getting married!!! " - (“Why would you do that??!!! ")
"Letz plan a trip to Wayanad !
"How about Jaipur ? "
"Are you crazy !! Vineeth’s wedding is at Wayanad, not Jaipur!!! “- (“What has that got to do with a trip??")
"Look!! The market is tough!! Be practical, it’s not easy finding a suitable girl these days. Girls are more demanding now yaar!!!" - (“Market! Demand! Girls!! What are you talking about??!!!?? )
After a considerable amount time spent discussing whether its time to start looking out for a suitable girl or wait for the perfect combo of beauty, brains, attitude & money to go head on heals over me, I decided to start searching while waiting for the Ms. Perfect. While there have been lots many debates and discussions on "Love marriage ke Arranged”, some times in real life it comes down to an important question - 'do you have the choice?’. You may be a great advocate of Love Marriage, but who do you 'Love -Marry’. For people who expended valuable time making the world a better place for others to live in, instead of cooing on tree tops, the option left is arranged. (“Boo!! Kiss My **rse Loser!! Whiner!! ”, “Now that’s reactive behavior people!! “)
That made us discuss love-arranged – not the one that finally happens when the lovers succeed threatening parents to finance the ‘LOUVE’ – but the love preceding an arranged marriage.(By now the reader must be convinced that the writer has nothing against lovers and his condition is probably the result of being traumatized by trying hard at it .)
I understand that things are changing and some are far ahead. There are Indians getting arranged in all right kind of methods.
• Setting one self a ten pointer requirements chart.
• Registering on the best matrimonial websites.
• Discussing it with onez parents.
• Getting the background research.
• Asking the right questions.
But what about the foundation, the bone of contention in the Love marriage/ Arranged marriage arguments, the very cornerstone of a successful marriage –
SEX...
Huh!! Kidding...
LOVE my dear ….
How to be sure that you will be able to Love the person you are being arranged with.
As love is kind of subjective, if it’s in any of the patterns given below you have least to bother (bothering part would be left to others).
“I Love Merc, her dad owns two of them”
“’I Love NY’ we are going to settle there after marriage”
“Man!! I Love her!! Her sister is Hot!! “
“Hey!! We both love SRK!! She is kinda crazy about him!!!”
“You only love once!! And my love had left me three years back. Now with anyone who comes into my life, what I can is adjust”
So if you don’t relate to the above, still believe in the traditional cliched Love and are still single (very important), you got to start thinking soon about arranging it. But the existing matrimonial websites or agencies have very little help to offer in this regard. These give you strictly technical bio-data with photographs. The only attractive feature I found on these sites is that you have the option of viewing as many as 60 photographs in one go. If you are looking for a cover girl for your magazine, this is the place. But to find a soul mate you need sheer luck with it. They do have chat options available for you to talk and know each other, but most of the profiles are governed by all the kinfolks except the individual whose profile it is. I agree there are chances that you could end up finding you soul mate among the kin, but if you are that lucky you shouldn't marry.
Dating websites should have made money here, but dating is yet to gain popularity in our nation, if you are a serious MTV buff you won’t agree with me. If I am not exaggerating, (huh!!??) it’s like dating is a strict no-no before marriage – ha! ha!.
The solution would be a savior website which has the looks of a traditional matrimony site, so that the parents don’t feel anything inappropriate about it. It should have simplicity of the Orkut, the clean looks of the Face book and chat rooms /other chat features of Yahoo. But even that can’t help if people don’t go out and start looking by their own.
Continued................
"Hey !! I am getting married!!! " - (“Why would you do that??!!! ")
"Letz plan a trip to Wayanad !
"How about Jaipur ? "
"Are you crazy !! Vineeth’s wedding is at Wayanad, not Jaipur!!! “- (“What has that got to do with a trip??")
"Look!! The market is tough!! Be practical, it’s not easy finding a suitable girl these days. Girls are more demanding now yaar!!!" - (“Market! Demand! Girls!! What are you talking about??!!!?? )
After a considerable amount time spent discussing whether its time to start looking out for a suitable girl or wait for the perfect combo of beauty, brains, attitude & money to go head on heals over me, I decided to start searching while waiting for the Ms. Perfect. While there have been lots many debates and discussions on "Love marriage ke Arranged”, some times in real life it comes down to an important question - 'do you have the choice?’. You may be a great advocate of Love Marriage, but who do you 'Love -Marry’. For people who expended valuable time making the world a better place for others to live in, instead of cooing on tree tops, the option left is arranged. (“Boo!! Kiss My **rse Loser!! Whiner!! ”, “Now that’s reactive behavior people!! “)
That made us discuss love-arranged – not the one that finally happens when the lovers succeed threatening parents to finance the ‘LOUVE’ – but the love preceding an arranged marriage.(By now the reader must be convinced that the writer has nothing against lovers and his condition is probably the result of being traumatized by trying hard at it .)
I understand that things are changing and some are far ahead. There are Indians getting arranged in all right kind of methods.
• Setting one self a ten pointer requirements chart.
• Registering on the best matrimonial websites.
• Discussing it with onez parents.
• Getting the background research.
• Asking the right questions.
But what about the foundation, the bone of contention in the Love marriage/ Arranged marriage arguments, the very cornerstone of a successful marriage –
SEX...
Huh!! Kidding...
LOVE my dear ….
How to be sure that you will be able to Love the person you are being arranged with.
As love is kind of subjective, if it’s in any of the patterns given below you have least to bother (bothering part would be left to others).
“I Love Merc, her dad owns two of them”
“’I Love NY’ we are going to settle there after marriage”
“Man!! I Love her!! Her sister is Hot!! “
“Hey!! We both love SRK!! She is kinda crazy about him!!!”
“You only love once!! And my love had left me three years back. Now with anyone who comes into my life, what I can is adjust”
So if you don’t relate to the above, still believe in the traditional cliched Love and are still single (very important), you got to start thinking soon about arranging it. But the existing matrimonial websites or agencies have very little help to offer in this regard. These give you strictly technical bio-data with photographs. The only attractive feature I found on these sites is that you have the option of viewing as many as 60 photographs in one go. If you are looking for a cover girl for your magazine, this is the place. But to find a soul mate you need sheer luck with it. They do have chat options available for you to talk and know each other, but most of the profiles are governed by all the kinfolks except the individual whose profile it is. I agree there are chances that you could end up finding you soul mate among the kin, but if you are that lucky you shouldn't marry.
Dating websites should have made money here, but dating is yet to gain popularity in our nation, if you are a serious MTV buff you won’t agree with me. If I am not exaggerating, (huh!!??) it’s like dating is a strict no-no before marriage – ha! ha!.
The solution would be a savior website which has the looks of a traditional matrimony site, so that the parents don’t feel anything inappropriate about it. It should have simplicity of the Orkut, the clean looks of the Face book and chat rooms /other chat features of Yahoo. But even that can’t help if people don’t go out and start looking by their own.
Continued................
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